In my life, I've often encountered a certain type of Western guy who was attracted to Asian women. He tended to be older, white and yes, creepy.
I wanted to know why, so I set out to make a documentary. I'm also creating a companion project, " They're All So Beautiful ," an online video series and forum to Dating asian women advice on divorce the nuances of race, romance and " yellow fever. Though the concept dates back centuries, dating Asian women, or, more accurately, the idea of dating Asian women, has officially gone mainstream. While I spoke to a lot of aging white men, I also spoke with young hipsters, black men and Latinos who desire Asian women.
I heard from Asian, Asian-American and many other women about their encounters with this so-called "yellow fever. Throughout all this, a common thread emerged: Understanding the difference between fantasy and reality made all the difference for these people and the true stories they shared.
Asian women make perfect wives. They have good family values and cater to the man.
Around BCE, Confucius outlined relationships in which wives looked up to their husbands in perfect harmony. Times have changed, but the myth that Asian women make doting and dutiful wives still persists.
Julia Ma, owner and matchmaker of Dating asian women advice on divorce Asian Connection, says men who join her club are seeking "the old picture of Asian women -- traditional, take care of husband, cook dinner, clean house. Her female clients are educated, often tech-savvy and, like her, many have been divorced.
She believes that Western men are more accepting of this, yet conversely are thought to have poorer family values. Still, Julia describes the high pressure in Asian societies for women to start families at younger ages than in the West.
She proudly states that her female "Dating asian women advice on divorce" are "flexible" and "want to work together as a family unit" -- but she's quick to note that they're "picky" and have high expectations. To them, marriage must be a two-sided contract. A wife gives face to her husband in public, but in honoring his end in private, he must put family first not himselfcater to her in-laws and, as is traditional in countries like China and Japan, hand over control of the bank accounts to her.
The myth that Asian women are more submissive rings true for those who have never actually dated an Asian woman. Take for example Steven, the main character of " Seeking Asian Female ", who saw images of Vietnamese women in films like The Scent of Green Papaya and wondered, would his future wife be an "idyllic servant girl who would cook these beautiful meals? At the end of his year search, he found Sandy, from Anhui, China, who was half his age.
For Steven, the real-life experience of Sandy's emotional, controlling and fiery temperament was still quite biting. Many Asian women think so. According to Jenny, who moved to the U. They're not very masculine.
Some Asian women do believe this myth to be true, but similar to Myth No. Julia Ma cautions, "Girls living in another country, they have no idea -- they think here is heaven, people with money, but it's nothing like that.
But sometimes Asian women "think they are marrying a 'more liberal' Western man," only to find out he's actually looking for a traditional Asian woman, explains Sheridan Prasso who studied this in her book, The Asian Mystique, Dragon Ladies, Geisha Girls and Our Fantasies of the Exotic Orient.
These women "know what they need to survive and to help their extended family. They saw an opportunity in that Asian fetish," then marry Western men "who wake up to find themselves among 20 of her relatives and he's totally outnumbered. In our interviews, we heard these sorts of comments frequently: Compared to other fetishes on the internet, such as leather, shoe or redheads, "Asian women are fetishized more than any other fetish," says Prasso.
The harder truth is, the Asian sex and trafficking trade remains one of the largest and most lucrative in the world, making Myth No. If you pay for it, sex with Asian women is "easy.
The racist myth that "all Orientals look the same" was debunked long ago, but it bears reminding all Asian women are not the same either.
By grounding our relationships in reality we get past our expectations and truly get to know each other as individuals -- we can't debunk all the myths, but it's a start. She teamed up with actor and media strategist Maikiko James to create "They're All So Beautiful," an online video series and discussion about interracial dating, Asian fetish and much more.
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