Now, he was full of excuses. He claimed Tinder had transferred automatically from his old device, that he liked to swipe through her profile pictures and read their old messages. A few days later, Wilson went in to work at a credit union in St Louis and confessed to colleagues that she thought her boyfriend might be cheating on her. Technology has made it easier than ever to be unfaithful. Apps like Tinder, Bumble and Grindr present a never-ending rolodex of hookups-to-be, while messaging services Most accurate time for hookup scan illicit dinner plans in password-protected phones.
These technologies can provide closure to a suspicious partner, but they can also stoke paranoia and exacerbate the very trust issues they seek to fix. Couples do not snoop on one another because they are unethical monsters.
They snoop to get tangible proof their suspicions.
Doubt can be as powerful as certainty. Wilson found out through Swipebuster that her boyfriend had logged on to Tinder the same morning she did the search. The next weekend, she asked to see his phone and threatened to cut off all contact if he resisted. Wilson saw that between November and January, her boyfriend had messaged up to eight women on Tinder she was too nervous to look at the more recent months.
In one exchange, he asked a woman if she wanted to meet up. Ethics aside, covert monitoring technology is also legally controversial.
Many spyware companies will claim their products are designed for the legal purposes of monitoring minors or in some cases company employees, but their websites usually also market to suspicious husbands and wives.
On the other hand, tracking apps that couples mutually agree to use can be both legal and helpful in the right scenario.
Therapist Estes says full transparency can be particularly effective in the aftermath of an affair, when trust is shattered. Mik Bauer says Couple Tracker has helped him and his husband of four years work out trust issues. The downside, of course, is that these apps can encourage paranoia.
Monica, who declined to give her last name, says Couple Tracker amplified jealousy in her relationship. Though only her boyfriend had cheated, he installed the app on her phone and constantly bombarded her with questions. Her GPS would sometimes fail and he would suspect an affair.
While part of her liked being able to hold him accountable for late nights, the app raised too many doubts. While Estes says the apps can help ease short-term pain, over the long term they create a dynamic in which a couple relies on technology more than one another for trust.
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