Put your phone down just for five minutes.
Give me five minutes of your time. Or however long it will take you to read this. Obviously, since you clicked this article, you are reaching out to me for heartbreak help. So now you are my responsibility. I will help you. What do you really want to say to them? I can assure you that it is not anything you have typed in that text message box on your phone right now.
Actually, I am completely positive of that. I would bet my life on it. I know it is.
Okay, so pretend you do say that. Pretend you really do tell your ex that you miss them and that you want them to love you, pretend that you hit send, and pretend to factor in the inevitable 1 to 24 hour s of heart-pounding, stomach-burning, nausea-inducing time spent waiting for a response.
What are their possible responses? In fact, you probably will. This will make the whole thing even more painful. Just like you did when you were dumped. Take a second to be real with yourself. You are not texting your ex just to tell them how angry you are.
I know you are! I know you probably want to punch me in the face for saying that right now, but you must believe me.
Nothing they say will live up to the standards you hoped for in their response. Not only will they not tell you that they miss you nor will they tell you that they want to love you, but they will likely not be very talkative and you will likely have the last word in the conversation, and EVERYONE knows that means you just LOST.
Do you want to lose? So why text them anything at all if every single one of the possible responses you can get will ultimately leave you feeling empty?
How to tell your ex you miss them And, if they do respond, do you really want to see their name pop up on your phone?
It will remind you that your ex still exists in the universe in this blanket of time and space — without you. Do you really want to be reminded of that? What are the benefits of you texting your ex first? Trust me, you are telling them nothing new. They see right through your seemingly innocuous text message. They know how you feel. And if they felt similarly, they would come back to you — on their OWN accord — and tell you that they made a mistake.
Do you really want someone to come back to you solely because they felt an obligation to pacify your sad text messages and not because they actually wanted to? Please listen to me.
That does not a good relationship make. If you absolutely must, type out the message. I promise you that the extreme desire to send your ex that text message will pass. Maybe you watched some movie that they liked, or saw some person they hooked up with and it made you cringe.
Or maybe you were just left alone with your thoughts for a few minutes too long.
But the desire, the need, the urgency to send the message — it WILL pass. It is more fleeting than you think. A new Thought Catalog series exploring our connection to each other, our food, and where it comes from. Tell the truth…Read more.
Reblogged this on Punk Rock Pericaliya and commented: Sometimes we all need to hear something like this. I know I do every once in awhile, but we are all stronger than we think.